2012 is apparently the year that the world will end, we have been being told for a while now.
For me it definitely represents a ‘new age or a physical or spiritual transformation’ but the tales are told about global impact, some of which have already happened and are represented in John Cusack ‘blockbuster’ 2012 which I have not seen yet, and probably won’t. This all links in to the I Ching, pseudoscience, astronomy, natural disasters, Donnie Darko, predicting an apocalypse, all strands of investigation from the last couple of years – now made very real.
Various theories abound as to what will happen, come December 21st. Some expect a collision with a black hole, or another planet: A film I have watched recently, Melancholia, narrated a similar scenario, this time involving a planet due to collide with earth. Described by its producer as a ‘cinematic last supper’, it is really two films in one, as the first half shows an unhappy bride seemingly intent on ruining her own wedding day. I would recommend watching it even though in this year when my life as a boy is to be buried, it might not have been the best choice for me personally.
But better than 2012 would have been.
Thor, Romance and Cigarettes, The Zookeeper ,Cedar Rapidsand more recently, The Ugly Dachshund, Drive, The Muppets, improved in quality as time went on. None of these have any real resonance with real life that I can cleverly link in to this post, I just thought I would mention them for your reference.
Planning a wedding is a lot of fun but pretty stressful, therefore I set myself a New Year’s resolution to learn to play the ukulele as a way of taking my mind off things. I have joined a local group and it is coming along very slowly, but have been fascinated to hear about different people’s experiences of the instrument, and just how many people have filmed themselves on the internet strumming along.
I really need a week off to focus on my chord changes, unfortunately I had one last month but was too ill to strum.
What I thought was stress related but actually turned out to be food poisoning, led to a week off for the first time in my working life, meaning I had chance to watch a few of those other films not being able to do anything else. The similarly-named Professor Green spoke recently of his own eerily coincidental experience of this horrific illness:
“They thought I had colitis – the pain was horrific – but it turned out to be campylobacter, which is as severe as salmonella and makes you feel like you never want food again. I was in hospital for five days and lost a stone.”
I myself sound lucky as wasn’t hospitalised and only lost nine pounds that Ulcerative-Colitis-and-Campylobacter–riddled week, and can’t really afford to, so am currently trying to put the weight back on.
This plan involved not the pies and mars bars that a doctor suggested, but instead some Complan and a few changes to my diet, including eating more. Thankfully this coincided with a wedding breakfast tasting evening, one of the most special meals of my life, hopefully we have made the right choices.
Not chicken, you understand, as apparently that was the cause of my illness, particularly funny as only today I was bizarrely called ‘Chicken Quiff’ by some hilarious teenage boys.
Whilst still ill I tentatively started painting again too, partly inspired by reading about various blockbuster exhibitions about to take place such as Hockney, Freud, and Picasso. My own paintings though are not quite as skilled as those of the luminaries I just mentioned: rather, of a series of love birds, and portraits of unfortunate folk with disfigurements and missing limbs or strange hereditary ailments like these two – whom I actually saw in the Mexican State Circus at Blackpool Tower, about twenty years ago.
This series was started around the same time as a fascinating documentary on BBC4 about the history of the circus through archive footage, When the Circus Comes to Town. It is well worth a watch.
I have also done some other canvases for the wedding but can’t say too much about them on here, other than that they are not about hirsute Hispanics.
I have though got a lot to say about the experiences of planning and preparing for getting married, and have been fortunate enough to have a vessel for my thoughts, getting them down on the screen and read by others on a groom’s website www.iamstaggered.com (including a joint effort with my best man, Jay) which set me up nicely for the next event as the big day approaches: my non-stag night, a trip down memory lane, and upcoming trip to Barcelona.
Not one for cliché or doing things by half, I decided to have a quiet night out without any of the stereotypical problems that groups of men can cause in city centres every weekend and certainly, no dressing up, slogan t-shirts aside. When first planning the event, we did discuss going toManchesterdressed as Morrissey, or everybody dressing up as me, or going to an art gallery and for a meal – then settled on a few pints in traditional hostelries. As I hoped there was a great turn out – thanks guys – I got to sing karaoke (HALFWAY TO PARADISE if you’re wondering) and ended with red-eyed dancing to Smiths classic HOW SOON IS NOW, both hinting at my excitement at what will be happening in a month.
One final extravagance is a trip to a match at the Nou Camp with Jay, to see what is still in my eyes the best team in the world, after hopefully two days sightseeing and looking at art, which although expensive sounding, has an excuse for being a rather elaborate last supper.
The whole stag tradition is apparently about ‘the burial of the groom’s life as a boy’ which is quite apt because 2012 is apparently the year that the world will end, we have been being told for a while now….
