May

Ne’er cast a clout ’til May is out, I recall first reading in The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole. It took years for me to find out what this actually meant, and even though it has nothing to do with the focus of this post, I think of it every time the calendar reaches the fifth month.

This May was the month I was contacted by a weirdo on the other side of the world, and also by numbers ten and eleven, which means I now have a football team of superheroes just in time or the World Cup. Those two were responding to the What’s in a Name project that the artist set up recently via facebook. I had kind of given up on it, having heard nothing off any potential participants for over a month, until I got two in two days towards the end of this month.

NUMBER TEN

His mum was both a teacher and a twin! He had never even heard of Blackpool, but is into astrology and believes people do have psychic powers, and is intrigued by fortune cookies, fascinated that their messages are always positive and never negative. Like 7 and 11 he has hayfever, like 5 one of his favourite films is Fight Club which of course has resonance with my own situation.

NUMBER ELEVEN

His father was a professor in music – perhaps that is where my palm-reading-suggested-child’s-talent comes from? He likes films that make him think, including Baron Munchausen, The Meaning of Life and The Holy Grail which link to my story though I admit to having never watched all the way through. Allergic to pollen like 7 and 10, he chose this alter ego because he looks into the past to try to figure out who he really is. Most intriguingly, he is a Pagan and as a result is into ouija boards and palmistry…

Meanwhile, back in the real world, my sister completed a charity walk (for her chosen cause endometriosis) at a little place called Houghton-in-Ribblesdale where the guy signing the walkers in asked if she was local as there were a large number of Greenbanks in the vicinity. None of them have so far entered into my friendship field that I know of but there is still time.

Perhaps the phonecalls I have been receiving for the past three weeks were meant for one of those Greenbanks. Or, for Good Luck Jonathan, the new President of Nigeria, who was sworn in during May.

The lady I spoke to the first time the phone rang late one evening, said she was looking for Greg. I couldn’t tell where she was from, and she seemed quite upset that Greg wasn’t here. So upset that she has since rung us twelve times each in the early hours, between midnight and 4am, often around 2ish when presumably she thinks Greg would still be awake? My favourite call so far was at 3.16 which if I had been more awake, in hindsight, I could have recited the famous bible quote instead of sluggishly asking “What?” before whoever it was, hung up.

I instantly recalled Paul Auster’s writing that I studied so closely last year: “It was a wrong number that started it…” Quinn, a lonely, disaffected writer, is awakened one night by a phone call asking for Paul Auster of the Auster Detective Agency. Although he brushes off the initial call, he begins to reflect on the detective novels he writes under a pseudonym. Inspired by the spirit of Max Power, the narrator of his books, Quinn claims to be Auster the next time the unknown caller asks for the detective.

The wrong number turns out to be Peter Stillman, a man who speaks with a strange cadence and style, possibly mixing truth and fiction. (From http://www.curledup.com/cityglgn.htm)

The narrative develops an intertextuality and causes all sorts of confusion, just as it does in Synecdoche, New York, a movie I had watched last year and forgotten all about then remembered (when it was on E4 in May) that it was yet another great example of mistaken identity and dual personality leading to questions about what is real and what is fake, both in text and visual representation.

For years now, I have been known as having several doubles and, towards the end of the month I was sent perhaps the best lookalike for a long time. Thanks Doug!

These doppelgangers, such as Peter Sellers, Gok Wan, Colin Murray, David Tennant, and many more, even Harry Potter and Mr Muscle, all relied on thick framed spectacles for impact. However, not for much longer, will they be relevant, as next month I will embark upon a life-changing operation which may be the catalyst for the alignment of the teacher me and my alter ego.

As the Spice Girls sang, two become one… Or four eyes become two again.

A similar situation also happened in the Schizoid episode of The Prisoner this month, involving multiple personalities and replicas. Indeed, in their complex conversations, Numbers Six and ‘Un’Two said the following at various times:

“I am who you intended to be…”

“Who is who? Someone who looks like me.”

“If we are one then we can defeat two…”

Be seeing you.

42 Responses to “May”

  1. edd greenbank says:

    good to know there is a town full of greenbanks somewhere.
    Used to read adrian mole myself and recently began teaching, if thats of any interest. More of an IT Trainer, but i think it counts.
    I used to be compared to the likes of mr muscle and harry potter, even after ceasing to wear glasses!

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